Brought to you by Lunesta!

Now that I've slept, I feel more sure about writing something that won't be snarky or awful or make people feel bad. True, I can blame my personality changes on Prednisone and not sleeping, but there's no need to be unpleasant.

"It's been an interesting road." Whenever I meet anyone new, or anyone I haven't seen in the last 10 weeks, that's my fall-back phrase. Because if I say that, I don't insult their shoes, or hair, or rage about how much I hate the new Subway 5-dollar foot long commercials.

After trying Ambien, Tylenol PM, Elavil, and Sonata (my bathroom counter looks like a pharmacy), we have found a response to the prednisone-induced insomnia. Those of you who have lived/travelled with me at any point probably remember that I love marathon sleeping sessions of 12 hours or more. Right now I'm rejoicing that I slept 6 hours *in a row* the last 2 nights. I am a firm believer that one should not drive if one has had less than 4 or 5 hours of sleep... and my 2 month run of no sleep made me a bit unsure of whether I'd ever be able to drive again. I now have hope. Which is good, because after 10 weeks of mostly conversing with medical people, hope is something you really need. And really, living in Southern California, the ability to drive is also something you really need.

My new nephrologist is significantly more laid back. He basically told me not to freak out about clotting, strokes, heart attacks, and my ludicrously high cholesterol/triglycerides. Which is good. Because my mind automatically goes to worst case scenario, and so did my old neph's and combined we were practically planning my funeral. New doc is helping me taper down the Prednisone as quickly as possible, and has high hopes that I will never relapse.

My energy level has increased significantly, but I wear out if I walk too far or stand up too long. Definitely better than before--but I still get frustrated that I'm not back to baseline. My physical therapists are helping me build endurance and get stronger, and the prednisone taper should mean that soon I will not feel like a rheumatic 80 year old.

have a hard time explaining what's going on, because I don't have the breadth of vision or communication skills to say what's happened in the last 2 1/2 months in 100 words or less. I'm so excited to be dipping back into life again, seeing my Young Life girls, tutoring a wee bit, starting my Pepperdine classes over again, talking with friends on the phone without being terrified that I'm going to say something awful, and taking interest in things other than the Food Network.


I can't be sure where I'll be 10 weeks from now. My YL girls are graduating (as are my Pepperdine classmates) that week. Hopefully I'll be strong enough to do quite a bit more, hopefully I'll be sleeping and not eating like a ravenous beast, but we'll just have to see. By then, I should be tapered down to a maintenance dose of steroid. Craziness.

Thank you for your facebook posts and messages. It's too easy to isolate myself up here on our little mountain--I typically choose not to call or use what energy I have to visit people because my track record hasn't been good for saying pleasant things if I'm tired. And in a way, I'm protecting you all from my lack of having of having a filter anymore...I miss being tactful. I'm so grateful for all the prayers and all the encouragement, and I don't want to be rude to those who are being kind.