There and Back Again

I'm going to post a picture of my feet as soon as I can find my camera. My friends, they are beautiful. The knobly bits from horses stepping on me and years of cramming my feet into dance shoes or too-tight boots have shaped my feet into a glorious misshapen mass of oddness. But they are, and will forever be my feet--ridiculously high arches, skinny heels, funny toes and all. I love my feet.

So a month ago (approximately) this whole ordeal started--with the weight gain and the rage, and the swelling and the rage, and the hospital and the rage. Three weeks ago I was 41 lbs above my normal weight. I am now 9 lbs below my normal weight. 50 Pounds. Let me repeat that. In the last 3 weeks I have lost 50 pounds. It's like "The Biggest Loser" on crack because I'm not exercising (at all--something about dizziness not being "normal"-coulda fooled me) and even though I eat a very healthy diet sans sodium, fat, and cholesterol, 50 lbs seems a bit much.

It's very nice to fit back into my old clothes again. When I saw my primary care doctor on Friday and she stated that I had lost 18 lbs since my last visit a week prior, and oh, 20-odd pounds the week before that, I realized that, had I allowed pictures of things other than my feet and possessed far fewer scruples, I could have made a fortune writing a diet book. A fortune I would have then used for a noble purpose, like figuring out what the heck happened to me.

My blood tests this week were pretty positive. My cholesterol dropped 150 points (!!!!) It's still high, but not in the "well, you should have a heart attack in 3....2....1.." stage. My triglycerides dropped 50 points to a respectable 250--still high, but not high enough to keep one of my dangerous drug combos going--so I'm glad my chances of liver failure due to noxious drugs is slowly decreasing. Those silly little proteins keep slipping through my kidneys, but there's more chilling in my blood than before--hence the not looking like an uncomfortable balloon anymore. As expected, my electrolytes are a bit wacky still, so I get to continue pounding SmartWater and avoiding salt. Unexpectedly I found I contracted an infection (probably in the hospital) that's been lying low for the last few weeks, hidden by the steroids. Massive doses of antibiotics should knock it out--but it was a good wake up call to realize that maybe it would be best if I waited a bit before I returned to the classroom and all of it's germy-wonder.

I'm back home, glad that I was able to spend time at my sister's while my parents enjoyed their vacation, but thrilled to have my own bed and see my beautiful garden. When we got home last night, my daffodils and tulips were out in droves, and I was more than a bit shocked to see snow and hail on the ground from a freak storm. But my garden still grows. Despite the fact that it desperately needs weeding, that it just got bombarded with an ides-of-march storm, my garden will continue to grow. And maybe this year it won't be as strong or as beautiful as some, and this may be known as the year of the freak storm in the annals of garden history, but it's still alive. That's how I'm looking at this semester, this year. This last month has been nothing like my schedule. The next month probably won't go as planned either--unless my nephrologist tomorrow says something like "and here's a new experimental drug that should fix your kidneys, the weakness, and everything else in 3 hours." I won't lie and say I'm okay with that. I'm a control freak--always have been. But just like my poor garden that has been hit pretty hard this year by freak warm spells, freak cold spells, and a very distracted gardener, there are some things that are just out of my control.

The small blessings this week that keep me humming "How Great Thou Art" just like I did when I was so scared in the radiology rooms at the hospital:
1) Baby Audrey jumping on my bed and hugging my teddy bears
2) Great friends that came by at the perfect times, so I was rarely home alone at Calee's
3) Long distance phone calls with people I can talk about nothing and everything with
4) Being able to cut down on pain-killers and muscle relaxants and write a coherent sentence without having to think too hard--also being able to read again
5) Texts, messages, wall-posts, cards and emails from friends scattered around the globe--especially the card I received from friends and my pastor in Mullingar, Ireland. :-)
....This list could go on and on, but it's a long note already

"I scarce can take it in... My God, How Great Thou Art"